Orange pants

I love being home...the feeling is great...especially because I have my favorite orange pants and green Punjabi MC tshirt that I caught at Diwali to wear around the house. See, my clothes have history and meaning to it: especially the orange pants. For my first year in high school, I had bought new clothes with my family at Target. I know- the ultimate cool place to be. I should get paid just to mention their name. But anyways, I bought a pair of black jeans which I still wear, an orange pant, an orange shirt and some other stuff that I cant remember. On the first day school, remember, I am in a new place, far away from my loves in PA, and I wanted to make a decent impression like any teen would want to do. Well, my mom makes me wear the orange pants which I really did not want to wear. SO- i was like- okay- I will wear a white tank top with it...But no- that created hell in the house. A tank was like a big no no. I was literally forced to wear, on My first day of school, orange pants, and my orange shirt. I felt like the biggest fool in town. I am just glad that it wasnt a pair of yellow pants and yellow shirt, because then I would have felt like a rotten banana. But yeah- I was sooo embarassed! But now- those orange pants have taken on their own rite of passage into being worn almost everyday when I am in the house.
My dad said at dinner to my mom- The reason I wear those orange pants over and over is because I want to get back at my mom and regret the fact that she ever wanted to buy those pair of pants. I just say that they have become quite comfy.

music

I never realized how much I missed listening to music until after I went to the wedding this weekend. Now, after my withdrawal, I have gone full swing listening to Indian music again: specifically Tamil music. Every time I start to listen to it again, I am always pleasantly surprised by how melodious it is/and how poetic it is.
Right now: I am having throwbacks to the days of Alaipayuthay. (Hindi- Saathiya)...those songs by AR can never go out of style.
Kadhal Sadagudu.

Woodahoo.

irritated

I hate the feeling of not being content. It is one of the itchiest feelings in the world besides your allergic reactions. It leaves a weird feeling to the heart. (Probably due to the elevated cortisol that your adrenal glands are giving off that increase your heart rate). But the feeling makes me always needing to do something or be somewhere I am not in the present moment, which in itself increases more of my cortisol because my internal philosophy is to live for the moments. For example I was telling someone yesterday: During the wedding this weekend I couldn’t wait to be done with it and go to clinicals, during clinicals I couldn’t wait for it to be done and to go back to my dorm, when I am at school, I cant wait to go home. When I am at home, I cant wait to go back to school. And the cycle is endless. See it bothers me because it makes me realize that I am not enjoying myself in the present. I am only enjoying myself in two dimensions of time: past and future. I want to be able to be a three dimensional figure and not just to you. Not a an illusion where you put on special glasses and see me as an optical illusion, but as a genuine person in all my actions. But to be quite honest, it is hard to be honest. It is hard to be honest when what we value in society is not what we teach, but the hypocrisy of our actions. For example, when I was taking an assessment online for a job (you know- the one where you have to rate your personality on a scale of 1-4 and also your skills) I was told by some friends to put “close to right” answer. Now, to me, personally, when I would see a “perfect” score, instincts would tell me not to trust it. Nobody is perfect. But to be valued upon what is seeming over what is real, boggles my mind.
I came to see that in the end of all this, I will continue to be this way. Maybe it is my personality trait. I know I am a hypocrite in all means, and I always admit to that. I guess I am bothered by the fact that oil has much more worth over the sustenenance of water.

Communism

I don’t know why, but I feel like writing about communism darn it- And I will. Whether it be rain, storm, or power outages. Nothing will stop me now. Once I start, don’t stop me, because I become a colliding star undergoing fusion.
So, now you are wondering, why exactly am I writing about communism? Maybe it is in the fourth of July and I am feeling really patriotic toward my country. Maybe it is the principles of idealism that I find so intriguing. Maybe, it is a mystery, and I may never know why, (or tell you why) unless you ask or I feel a dying need.
My grandfather was a communist. Yeah yeah. You caught my family red handed. But yes, as I was saying, my grandfather was a communist. He believed in the ideals of communism. The ideals of communism are actually that- ideals and very idealistic. They believe that everyone is created equal and that there should be no class of poor people. I go along with my grandfather on that. He, growing up in India, must have seen the vast difference between the rich and the poor. To add to that, he had to see the unfair treatment of the different castes by other castes. My mother told me that how when he was young, on the trains, he would talk and help out those who were in need. I hope to have inherited something of that value from my family of giving to those in need and having a sense of compassion.
My grandfather was also a very religious man. Being religious, he contradicted the principles of communism which believes that religion creates inequality in people. Religion is “an opiate of the masses” that supposedly contents those to accept their station in life.
One of the biggest communist countries of yesteryear was Russia which went against the trend of the spreading monarchial systems of power. In the system of a monarchy, “a serf might run to the town court for protection against his master. A vassal might run to the king's court for protection against his lord. A cleric might run to the ecclesiastical court for protection against the king.” (Law and Revolution). This system seems to represent an early prototype that we use in our system called checks and balances. But in a communist society, when the leader/(s) become tyrannical, who do the “emancipated” poor run to? Besides, the poor should be grateful- it could be a lot worse.
America, in stark contrast to communism is materialistic and individualistic. Why do people want to move here from other countries? Well, because it is in the dream. Each person has his or her own individualistic dream that they wish to fulfill in their lives. In other countries, there are many restrictions to this dream. A potential writer who wishes to write will have a voice that is suppressed by a figure who deems the voice contradictory. A dreamer who dreams to become a fashion designer may be seen as a dissident because their clothing doesn’t represent the masses or majority. So to make life fair, it is ordered to wear a dull grey shirt and pants so nobody will cry. A book is no longer a book, but it has to be something that everyone likes and that nobody will be offended by, so instead of expanding the mind, the thoughts are stifled.
My ideals are pure American ideals. I believe that we should not be scared of each other nor feel threatened by others. If you don’t like something, do your best to change it. Raise your voice because you have a voice. Raise your fist and say black power. Wave a rainbow colored flag and proudly proclaim you are gay.
But with a voice comes responsibility. A responsibility that should include the fact that just because you have a voice that represents the majority, whether within a macrogroup or microgroup, doesn’t mean you should try and suppress the voice of the minority. Just because your voice is in a majority, doesn’t make you right.
The saying, majority rules has been heard by many. But just because it does, does it mean it should? And when the poor listen to leaders of the communists tell them that majority rules, or when the you are not allowed to read a book or go to school or even wear makeup, because somebody is telling you that majority rules, I think it should be asked then…….
Who really are the majority? Are they just the minority?
I can’t answer that question because it is a conundrum and may brain will explode. And really, there needs to be a medical diagnosis in the book called Robin Hood syndrome.
Learn to think for yourself and read 1984 or Fahrenheit 451.

Had to Do it: Why I love to Hate Speidi

I have a secret guilt- Dont tell anyone about it....but I loved to watch the Hills. Don't ask me why. It was s secret pleasure of mine. Something about it is just so satisfying and I really can't explain why. That is why when I heard that Heidi and Spencer from the show would be joining the cast of "I am a Celebrity, Get me out of Here," I myself was particularly thrilled. From watching the show, I thought that Spencer had "manned up" to his past wrongs and was ready to turn a new page in life. Boy was I wrong! I have never actually watched the show, but I have watched clips of those two, and I have learned that I have been fooled by the greatest con artists out there. It is no wonder Lauren on the show hated Spencer so much. I used to wonder why she had such a dislike toward him: I used to think that he really wasnt that bad, and that he was just misunderstood, but now I know why she hated him so much and really did not want to be around Heidi. He is absolutely disgusting. Just watching clips of him and Heidi now are repulsive. To me, they are a representation of everything that is wrong in American youth. Their interview with Al Roker, made me realize why I hated them so much.
They are fake. They are hypocrites. They are lazy. They are manipulative. They give low blows. And they use God's name in vain. They are like demons.
It is sheerly amazing to me how wholly hypocrital they are.
And they lashed out their rheotoric with venom. They called him Mr. Weatherman and seemed to act as if they were too good to be interviewed by him. Personally, he is too good to be interviewing them. He has a reputable real job who works to have what he deserves. Heidi said that women need to be careful around him. I would think before I speak Mrs. Pratt. Look how your HUSBAND treated "Frangela" on the show because your poor baby bottle dry shampoo label was ripped off WHEN YOU LEFT THE JUNGLE YOU BRAT. Look how your HUSBAND was the one who admitted to spreading rumors about Lauren Conrad creating a sex tape. Your husband is SLIME. These two are priviledged rich kids who have no gratitude for what they have actually been blessed with and actually make Paris Hilton seem like a likeable saint. Al Roker asked for real answers. I feel he exposed their evil by asking that question.
No these two people are not newsworthy, but the reason with such a fascination with them is that pop culture have created those two demons.
And Heidi- You are tasteless. Dont think that you are a modern day Mother Teresa.
There have never has been anyone in pop culture who I have hated or even cared to bat my eye about. To me, this just proves how awful and disgusting they are. After this day, I choose to ignore them. Not look at anything else about them and let them disappear into oblivian.

world news: elections

The world seems to be a very heated place indeed, and the Iran elections has taken to the stage front and center in the political world. Iran just had elections to vote for a new president earlier this month. Ahmadinejad and Mir Hossein Mousavi were the main candidate running against each. Supposedly, with the millions of Iranians that voted, the government was able to declare the winner in a matter of hours. Basically, the gist of what I am getting is that Ahmadinejad won the majority vote, but many of the Iranians in Tehran, especially young Iranian men, felt that the results were wrong and many headed to the streets to protest and demand recounts. The Ayatollah urged the people to accept Ahmadinejad as the winner.

To people everywhere in the world, what implications does this have for you? When I read about all the unfolding events in the news, it actually made me realize the importance of the individual voice. When I say that, I don’t necessarily mean crying when you feel something is unfair and throwing a tantrum. That can be easily by done by anyone. I mean speaking up for your rights. Mir Mousavi urged his supporters to demonstrate non violence in their protests. Don’t accept things just because it is. To not want change is ludicrous. As individuals we grow and develop and so should society in general. What was acceptable yesterday doesn’t have to be today. What was legal then, could be immoral now.

Use your voice. Listen to controversial music and ask why is it so controversial? Look at a piece of art work that was banned in some era of past. Read a book that you may not necessarily agree with and try to look into the mindset of the author.

And always keep learning for knowledge. For when we have knowledge, we no longer fear the unknown and are able to see the humanity of it all.

Lessons to Learn from Carrie Prejean: First Amendment Rights

We probably all have heard of Carrie Prejean by now. The Ms. California, blond haired (supposedly), blue eyed (maybe?) and big buxom (fakely) 22 year old response to openly gay Perez Hilton's question about same sex marriage. Here was her response:

"I think it's great that Americans are able to choose one or the other. We live in a land that you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite marriage and, you know what, in my country and my family I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman. No offense to anyone out there but that's how I was raised and that's how I think it should be between a man and a woman."

I dont know about you, but I don't think Miss Prejean is the most eloquent speaker out there. First, she started out calling this country great because it is a land where you can choose, but then she said, "you know what, in MY COUNTRY and my family I think that I believe......" So, it seems to me from her response, she is not living in OUR country. She is living in an alternate country where "I think marriage should be between a man and a woman." First offense that she created. She seperated the LGBT from the rest of the country. Supposedly her country stands for tradition, while the other country is full of sin and family is not of importance. The second offense that she created was saying, "No offense..." Don't get me wrong now- I say no offense all the time and I mean it most of the time. But when you are on a public stage, "No offense" sounds like you actually DO mean offense. Once again, harmless words, that offended a crowd of people.

So where does this lead to-
Point number one:
Miss Carrie Prejean was on a public stage. She was a representative for Miss America. The question/answer section of the pageant tests the canidates knowledge and ability to speak clearly and cogently. Imagine her words, instead of being from a 22 year young women, was put into the mouth of a politician. We could clearly say that the quote would not go down in history for being something of insight and praise.
Which leads to Point number two:
She keeps saying that the question was unfair. Why was the question unfair? Sure it was a politically and culturally charged question, but to call it unfair is unfair. It was a question that everyday Americans are facing. It is a part of our cultural climate like it or not. And the question reflected a portion of America. As a representative of Miss America, you should not feel it was unfair, but maybe should have been better prepared.
Which finally leads to a final point:
Yes, we do have first amendment rights: The freedom of speech. And it is great that we can say whatever we want without being thrown in jail or other forms of corporal punishment. But with that right, comes a personal responsibility. That responsibility entails suffering the consequences of what you say.
Did I contradict myself there? Yes- I believe I did. But those are still following, stay with me here for a second.
To put it easily, if you have the right to say whatever you want. I have the right to think whatever I want. If you say something out of your ass, I have the right to believe it stinks and isn't actually a perfume. That includes the masses of America.
Sorry Miss Prejean. I don't for a sympathize with you. You stood on a platform knowing that you had JUDGES and would be JUDGED for your response- for the good or for the bad. And sorry to say, even though I may be somewhere along the same wavelengths as you in my opinions of same sex marriage, I don't think your answer was eloquently put. Maybe, if you spent more time in learning how to speak and less on how you looked, you may not be under the large scale microscope.
And by the way- you were given a chance by Mr. Trump himself, and you decided that you became "holier than thou" in the eyes of America and were too good to do your job. Instead of fulfilling your responsibilities, you felt that things should have been handed to you because that is what you deserved. You became manipulative and wished to use the media scrutiny of your words to your advantage to shirk of going to work so you could play hookie.
You my dear, from your actions- Are a lazy, manipulative, no good fool.
And I take full responsibility for what I just said.